February 2011
10 posts
I can't take this rollercoaster any longer.
Make up your mind. Don’t come back to me cause I’m done. Gaaaaah!
Tell me why I have such a dirty mind.
Here’s how the conversation went:
Guy: Done. Black ops time xD
Me: Every guy freakn loves that game! LOL
Guy: Its black ops. Some guys are coordinated with their hands while some girls are good with their legs.
Me: Lmao. And what does that exactly mean…
Guy: That ur a good dancer Sam (:
Overall, I was thinking something hella sexual. That sounded really nasty but it made me...
January 2011
32 posts
I just… I want to write so much just to help me feel better but that’s not going to do anything but make me feel worse.
Situations like this is the time when I really...
juliannenewin asked: Omg forgot you couldnt text me sorry, but wow ... who caused it? And your dad took away your things?
You constantly make things worse. Always blaming me for shit and using my mistakes and attitude as a way for leverage. I’m tired of all this shit. Fuck it, take it all. Take my phone, take my car, take my freedom in this household, and fucking take my happiness cause that’s all you do. You always make me cry and I stay in my room doing my homework or reading just to get away from all...
You’re so fucking rude. I swear.You disrespect me in front of the family. You push me in a playful way but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. You say shit that you shouldn’t say. you talk shit about me to me. I try to tell you things and then you get really upset and start cussing at me. When you’re trying to fix something and you need my opinion I try to tell you and...
I don’t know what to do. I just realized that you just broke. After everything, you’re talking negative. You’re crying and I can’t do anything. I don’t want to cry because my tears won’t make it better. I can tell you what I think but my opinion doesn’t matter because in the end it has to be what’s best for you. Not what’s best for us but for...
Prom
My dad said in order for me to get a prom dress, I have to earn it. His way of me earning the money for my prom dress is cutting the grass… with scissors since our lawn mowers broken. Nigggaa, I aint doing that. He’s on crack.
You don't need a million reasons in order to...
The Truth Is...
I can’t put the truth into words. It’s more than just saying that one phrase that will release me from all the walls and the lies I used to build up the wall that kept everything held in place. It feels like I’m paying for some mistake I’ve made but I don’t even know what it is. I always get the worse end and always end up hurt and crushed. I fee likeI’m not...
It’s the realization that through all the bullshit, the tears, the arguments, and the moments when I want to say “I’m done with you”… I can’t. You know why? Because in the end you’ll always be my best friend no matter what I say or no matter if I try to tell myself other wise.
It’s been awhile since I felt like this. I’m angry at myself because that one action changed everything. That one gesture proved to me what I was trying to avoid. I didn’t see it coming and especially not from you.
Indirect actions hurt the same nonetheless. Does it seem like the shit you do doesn’t affect me? Does it seem like I’m not going to trip off that sort of thing? Does it seem like I won’t give a fuck when I find out? The answers NO. A wise friend said to me today that, “My heart is like a drivers test. You can make little mistakes and my heart will be fine. But when you make...
From the start til the end, we don't need to...
Its funny how one action can contain so much...
This is suppose to be making me feel better...
But all it’s causing is a conversation full of bitchy-ness and tears forming at the corner of my eyes. I’m definitely not going to talk about it cause it’s just not something I want to deal with.
Don’t ever try to ‘talk’ to a girl when you have a girlfriend. Don’t try to talk to her when you see her at the school events. Don’t try to talk to her if you know that the people who introduced you guys to each other, hate your guts because chances are she’s still really close to them and you end up looking like an idiot. Don’t ever try dancing with her...
It’s you’re fault for being oblivious to everything that’s in front of you. It’s your fault for not seeing the truth. It’s your fault for letting yourself being treated like that. There’s just nothing that I can say that will change anything or that will save you from the heartbreak.
The thing that gets me through the day is the fact that someone that knows I’m not having a good day takes the time to tell me to ‘smile’ cause when we’re at our worst, most people give pity. They never try to tell you to do the simplest thing like crack a smile.
As each day goes by, I get more and more confused by things. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m trying to analyze our behavior and I’m trying to put a name to actions when I know I shouldn’t.
It’s been a year since we’ve been friends and I don’t care. It’s been a year since we’ve been friends and it seems that you don’t care…
Ask me about fake friends and I can point you in...
I'm done... D.O.N.E.
I realized that you aren’t worth the effort. I’m done feeling whatever I was feeling for you. You may have been really intelligent. You may have helped me out during class or with homework. You may have made me feel different things I didn’t know I would feel. BUT when it comes done to it… You aren’t what you seem. You act different and distant when your around a...
Lifes just one of those journeys. The adventure you’re always looking forward too. The anticipation that it brings when you know something great or even bad is going to happen. The adventure that changes you whether for the good or the bad. The journey that starts with a bang but that eventually has to end.
I can’t deal with you anymore. I’m aggravated AF today due to various reasons. And i’m not a happy camper. But it’s okay. Im going to put a smile on my face because I deserve too and act like it’s all “good in the hood”.
I just don’t know anymore. I know what I should be feeling, but I don’t. I know that i shouldn’t expect anything, but I do. I know I shouldn’t be over reacting, but well I am. It’s hard trying to be the person I know I want to be when I’m not sure where I really am right now. Its hard to let go of hope and it’s definitely hard to let go of the fact that...
Oh yaaaap!
Being nominated for royalty by my teachers has made my week. It’s nice to know that teachers think so highly of me. Even if I don’t really win actual duchesse, I still feel special.
I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
-_-
I don’t really have anyone to walk to class with. First period I walk alone. 2nd period I kind of walk alone not really. Going to third I walk with Oscar but we don’t go the same way. And to fourth period I have no one to walk with. -_- and I barely know people in some of my classes. It’s whatever.
I don't know what game your playing but whatever...
Hello 2011
So I’m still thinking about my new years resolution and I know how people say no one keeps with them but last year I kept mine for 8 months so suck it. It’s called perserverance and preference so if one person can’t possibly keep their resolution it’s cause they gave up. Don’t rain on my parade beezy’s.